Hello everyone, and welcome back to the Therapy Spot. While I know I have readers and listeners from all over the world, this week, I’ve got Halloween on my mind. America’s take on Halloween is a lot of fun. When I was a kid, my father made Halloween even more fun than it already was. From talking pumpkins to robot costumes, we never knew what to expect.
Halloween is also the perfect time of year to really pay attention to your different parts. Unlike a werewolf mask or some plastic vampire fangs, you can’t discard those parts after October 31st. Your thoughts and parts are really so much more important than that.
On today’s podcast, we’ll explore how to go deeper to understand our different parts. In other words: I’d like to invite you to your party of parts!
Be Our Guest
We all have an internal world of different parts — that’s the norm. Whether we acknowledge it consciously or not, those parts play a huge role in our everyday lives. You may put on your “manager mask” at work, and your “performer mask” at home with the kids. Can you imagine talking to your 5-year-old child the way you talk to your boss — of the other way around? Leading from different parts at different times doesn’t make you inauthentic. That’s how we all move through our world!
Having an internal party of parts can get very confusing at times. If you haven’t “hosted” a party of parts in a while (or ever), it might feel like a child’s birthday party at first. As soon as you try to talk to one part, all the other parts start making noise. Everyone clamors to speak over each other, and nobody gets heard.
You don’t want your party of parts to turn into a monster mash (even though it was a graveyard smash). So, how can you be a good host at your party of parts? Luckily, the old etiquette rules apply here. Namely? Circulate! Make sure you talk to all of your “guests,” but don’t jump from conversation to conversation. Everyone should feel warmly welcomed, and have a chance to say their piece.
Why Host a Party of Parts?
You might be thinking, Gosh, this sounds like an awful lot of work. Why should you host a party of parts? What’s in it for you?
There are so many advantages to listening more deeply to parts of yourself:
- When the different parts of us feel listened to and heard they calm down
- Once our parts calm down, we relate better to others, and we feel more connected to ourselves
- We even sleep better! (And I don’t need to tell you how important that is, do I?)
- We can make clear choices that fit what we want and need
- When we feel well balanced in ourselves, and have learned about ourselves from the inside out, we choose how to show up in our world
- We project ourselves in the world in a clear authentic way which invites people into our lives who are a good fit for us
I want all of you to find a few moments this week to intentionally spend some quality time with yourself. That might be a walk in nature, or just sitting quietly alone. During that time, ask yourself, simply, “Who’s talking right now?” Identify and name the part. Then, interview your part.
- What is happening right now that it feels it needs to be loud?
- Is a specific issue triggering this part?
- What does this part believe you need?
- What does this part need from you?
These questions are simple. Stopping to listen, however, might turn out to be the more difficult part of this exercise. I encourage you to take advantage of my guided Self-inquiry meditation, available free for download. The Internal Family Systems (IFS) lens can help you join your party of parts and walk away feeling refreshed.
Helping Me Help You
I’m excited to announce the kickoff of my Patreon page! Patreon is a wonderful way for listeners and fans to support people like me, who want to make a bigger impact. I want to continue producing these podcasts, and giving you the tools to be better in yourself and better with others. Consider becoming my patron and helping me help you. Find all the details here.
As always, thank you for joining me today on the Therapy Spot. I love to know you’re out there, listening and enriching your lives.