This week, I’d like to share with you three steps towards a better connection with your partner. I refer to love as the oil of connection because it makes everything run smoothly. If you listen to the mechanic, you change the oil in your car every 3000 miles, but there’s no factory recommendation for a relationship!

Do any of these sound like you and your partner?

• Small disagreements quickly flare up into full-blown arguments.
• You become easily disappointed or withdraw from your partner.
• You find yourself gazing enviously at a loving, doting couple and wondering why you and your partner don’t have that anymore.

Don’t be discouraged – all of these are typical symptoms of a strained relationship in need of an oil change. Just like a lack of oil in your car puts you at risk for massive engine damage, these symptoms will only worsen if ignored, widening the lonely distance between the two of you. What you need is to be better connected to your partner, and connection can only flourish when communication is present.

How did you get here? Like a funny noise when we use the brakes or a decrease in gas mileage, large problems start small. Disconnection can spring from a tiny event, a disruption or angry words spoken carelessly. Over time, you and your partner may exchange many words that cause disruption, leading you into a place of miscommunication or poor connection. All you know is that one morning, the car just wouldn’t start, leaving you panicked and frustrated. 

Remember there are no enemies here. The disconnection didn’t come from a lack of love, because you both love each other. The problem is that you are both blocked, in your own ways, from showing that love. See if you can unblock yourself in even small ways to let the love flow the way you know it should, so you and your partner can keep moving forwards together.

Image Credit

“Mechanic” by Flickr user Free For Commercial Use is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.